Psych visit

I went to the psych about a week ago. I kept forgetting to actually post, although I've also been busy. We found out a few weeks ago that we needed to move because the owners' of our house want to sell. Luckily we found a place pretty quickly and signed the papers last week. I also finished up my grading for the ANU medical school, so now I've just got a lot of packing to do before we move in a couple weeks!

After going to see my GP about my mental health a month or so ago, he contacted the Belconnen Medical Centre to get me an appointment with a psychologist. While I was on the waiting list, they contacted me a few times to see how I was going. I missed one call from them when I was at the rheumatologist. (Which wasn't worth a blog post. I was doing well and so we are going to halve my anti-inflammatory meds.)

I tried calling back but they never got back to me. I was about to go to my GP for a new prescription for my mood stabilizers when they FINALLY got back to me. Someone had cancelled so they had an appointment the next day.

The psych said that I might have bipolar II, but he's not sure. Some of my symptoms were fairly consistent with bipolar II, but some were a bit different. He wanted to hold off on a label. (I was also much calmer since the mood stabilizer which makes it a bit harder to diagnose since he didn't see me in what seemed like hypomania.) But he said that my GP did the right thing with starting me on mood stabilizers. They can be used for preventing mania or treating it. The psych told me to halve my current dose and continue treatment with my GP.

I'm not sure if I'll go completely off them in the future and just use them to control future episodes or as a preventative measure. I guess we'll have to wait and see how I feel.

What do you collect? I collect diagnoses!

Sometimes it feels like that. I've been feeling overly hyper for the past week or so. I'm not talking normal amounts. I mean feeling like I need to bounce off the walls and singing and dancing like the best thing ever happened but for no apparent reason.

I'd questioned if I was bipolar in the past, but never enough to get it diagnosed. My paternal grandpa was bipolar and I know a lot of mental health problems run in my family. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 15, but this past week really seemed like mania. (and not just what my personality would be without depression) I couldn't sit still or focus. I ended up physically exhausting myself but my brain was still going at full speed.

I looked up symptoms online and did some quiz things that sort of rated your level. They both said that I should see a doctor to discuss because my score was high enough that it was probable. I made an appointment and saw my doctor yesterday. He diagnosed me with bipolar 2. So now I have a new diagnosis. Although I suppose it means that my depression diagnosis was changed to manic depression instead of unilateral depression. But it does mean that I started a new medication. I'm still on my antidepressants but I've also started a mood stabilizer.

Hopefully it works and I can calm down again. I've been annoying myself with constant movement and a wandering mind. I have another appointment with my GP on Friday to set up a mental health plan and talk about going to a psychiatrist to help me as well. Hopefully this psychiatrist will be more helpful than my previous ones!

Some healthy weeks then back to being sick

I was sick with what may have been a flu or maybe a cold for about three weeks. I was just starting to get better when my parents told me that they needed to put my dog to sleep, which caused some severe depression. I'm mostly over the depression but it's still hard to think about it.

I was healthy for about 2-3 weeks. It was amazing. I actually remembered to appreciate being able to breathe and not feeling sick to my stomach. It's been months since I was healthy for that long.

Last week I was able to go in and get the flu shot and it was practically painless. Then the next day I needed to have my first routine blood test since starting sulfasalazine. She said my veins weren't hard to find, just really deep. That one hurt a lot, although surprisingly it doesn't leave a huge bruise or stay painful for more than an hour.

Now today I've woken up with a sore throat. I've tried to be conscious of germs and wash my hands a lot, but they managed to sneak in there. It's probably because I was helping with creche at church on Sunday. I just can't help playing with little kids, but they spread germs so well. Hopefully this cold won't be too bad.

God please give me strength!

I've been struggling a lot with my health this past week. All I can do is pray for strength.

Last Monday, I started taking sulfasalazine. Then on Wednesday I started feeling sick. It felt like just a cold with a really sore throat. Thursday came and I started feeling nauseated, feverish, sore, and even threw up a couple times so I thought that maybe it was the flu. On Friday my left ear started feeling plugged. Then it started ringing. And by the evening I heard just about everything echo in my left ear, but especially my own voice and higher pitches. Then I remembered that it might be a reaction to the new drug and checked the symptoms listed. I had almost all of them listed on the 'contact your GP' list but not the 'get help ASAP' list.

Since my GP and rheumatologist were closed until Monday, I went to the walk in clinic on Saturday. The nurse working said that she really couldn't tell if it was a flu or a reaction to my new medication. She suggested that every once in a while I hold my nose and blow out my ears to help with the fluid causing the ringing and echoing.

I felt alright at the time, so Rohan and I went mini golfing with our Bible study. I felt super drained after and went home to take a long nap. Then I felt better and went to book club. I also got to see the puppy that I watched a week or so ago. He was so happy to see me!

I woke up Sunday to discover that I had lost my voice! It happens to me a lot. I never lost my voice until I got a cold about a month after my brain tumour surgery and since then I've lost it at least once a year, probably more. It's just really frustrating on Sundays because I love singing in church! (my voice is coming back today it's just a lot lower for now!)

I finally could call the rheumatologist on Monday morning. I left a message with reception and they called me back this morning. They said that my rheumatologist is about to go on holiday for the next two weeks and I should go to my GP and they should be able to tell me if it's the drug or not.

My usual GP didn't have any appointments until Friday, so I went to the female one that I go to sometimes. She had an appointment at noon today. She said that she's pretty sure that what I have is just a cold. But sometimes people get these symptoms in the first week or so which is why they start out with one pill a day and increase to two twice a day over the course of a month.

So basically I just have to push through it. She also told me that my new medication is an immunosuppressant. Somehow I missed that in all of my reading about it! So my request to anyone that I see regularly is that they are especially careful around me when they might be sick.

She also tried to give me medication for my nausea but luckily the computer caught that it was the medication that I'm really allergic to! As I was leaving, she also told me to come back when I am feeling better because I can get a flu shot. It'll be covered by medicare which I think is because I'm on an immunosuppressant.

I also asked her about the MRI that said I have a polycystic ovary. She said it's nothing to worry about now. I'm already on birth control which is a common treatment. They can only treat the symptoms so I don't have anything else to do. It can impact fertility, but some women are still able to conceive or they have treatments. Either way that's a problem to deal with in the future. For now I just want the ringing in my ears to stop!

The flu.

I'm pretty sure that what I thought was a cold the other day is actually the flu. Ugh. I should have gotten the vaccine but I wasn't working so there was no free one like last year and I didn't qualify for a free one from the government so I just didn't think to actually get one. I've learned my lesson. Both Rohan and I need to get them in the future.

Although I never actually got the flu until last year, so it must be an Australia thing, even though I did get a flu shot last year.

Thank you, God, for paracetamol!

On Monday, I called the rheumy office to see if my doctor answer my questions. She said that I should continue with my other drugs since the new one takes time to start working. Also my blood tests will need to be every month.

I picked up my pills that morning but was told to start taking them at night. They have a complicated dosing where I add a pill every week until I take 2 in the morning and 2 at night. (Then continue with that dose.) The chemist told me to start at night because the medicine often has the effect of making you spacey. She said it shouldn't make you drowsy, though. So far that doesn't seem to be the case. Maybe it's just because of my sleeping issues, but it knocks me out and it's been messing with my sleeping even more. Hopefully my body will get used to the drug and that will stop.

But reading the handout that the chemist gave me about the drugs, I've discovered that I can't take aspirin. I already also can't take ibuprofen because that's an anti-inflammatory and I'm taking anti-inflammatory meds already. So I'm thanking God that paracetamol exists. I never heard of it until I came to Australia (although wikipedia tells me that's what's in Tylenol but it has a different name in the US) but it's sort of the default pain killer here. I'm so glad because I think I'm coming down with a cold so I'll be wanting my cold medications!

New Medication

After a few calls, I finally got a response back from my rheumatologist about my x-ray results. The receptionist said that my rheumatologist said that there were some changes and to start taking sulfasalazine if I haven't already. She gave me the prescription last time so I won't have to go back for a few months to follow up.

I realised that I wasn't sure if I was supposed to keep taking my previous medicine or when I was supposed to start getting the blood tests. So I asked the receptionist to put it in my rheumy's notes and have her get back to me. I have to get blood tests every month or so when I'm on this drug to make sure I don't have any adverse effects.

Hopefully this medicine will help! It takes 6-12 weeks to take effect and only works in 50-70% of people. Not to mention no one knows why it works. But I guess all I can do is keep praying!

X-ray

Today I had my X-ray at Calvary Hospital. It wasn't very eventful. Although it was my first x-ray laying down. The other two that I've had are chest x-rays from when I was in the hospital for breathing problems and to get my partner visa. It was pretty cool to see the machine on the ceiling since it's different than the MRI/CT scanning machines

They said my results should be at my doctor this afternoon, so I called to let her know that I had it done. I didn't get a call back yet about what path I'm supposed to take for my medication. I'll have to follow up next week until I get a response.

On a side note, I really managed to hurt my right leg on Monday evening when I missed some stairs outside of our friends' house because it was dark. Rohan said I fell like 60cm. It still hurts to put weight on my leg for almost any length of time. I asked my father-in-law about it over the phone yesterday when we called for Rohan's sister's birthday. He said that I probably corked it. Rohan and I looked that up and it's generally an injury from contact sports. Oh my life!

Rheumatologist...again

I was called last week saying that the rheumatologist wanted to see me again. After rescheduling from Wednesday because I had a cold, I went in today. I was so excited because I was having tremendous pain in my back from switching medications.

She was happy to find out that my hands and feet were feeling better from the steroids, but not that my back was hurting again. It's been hard for her to try to diagnose because every time it seems to be different because my pain is either in my extremities or in my lower back. (No kidding!) But this time it was clearly my lower back! I haven't been able to do pretty much anything the past few days. I've been curled up in pain and taking a lot of hot baths and using heat packs. Plus lots of panadol but not nurofen because that would destroy my stomach lining. Basically it's been a hard time in our house because all of the added stress of taking care of me and the house falls on Rohan. Good thing we don't have kids yet!

She told me to go back on my anti-inflammatories, so I took one as soon as I got home. Hopefully those will be working again soon. I'm also supposed to finish up my steroid regimen and then stop taking them, which is for another week and a half. The steroids were supposed to be short term and I wasn't supposed to take them with the anti-inflammatories because they can cause major stomach problems, but I'm weaning off them so it'll be fine.

She wants to me go get an X-ray of my back and then let her know when that's been done. Depending on the result, I have a couple options for my drugs. She first wants to see if I qualify to get these really good injection drugs. But they cost $20,000 so it's important that I actually qualify for them because we definitely don't have that kind of money! If my back isn't that bad yet, she may put me on Sulfasalazine. It's a drug used for rheumatoid arthritis. It can have a lot of side effects and I'd need to have regular blood tests, like every month or so. It usually takes a few months until it starts working, though.

After I get the X-ray, I'll just need to call and she can tell me over the phone which path she wants me to take. She already gave me the prescription for the sulfasalazine as well as all of the regular blood tests that I'll need. In that case I won't need to see her again until October. Hopefully this will be the answer!

What do I do since I'm unemployed? Mostly go to the doctor.

I had to get a blood test today. It's hard to force yourself to get out of bed when you know that's what you have to do today. Ugh!

But I did get there. I was supposed to go to Belconnen so I could give Rohan his wallet that he forgot at home, but I started walking there and felt really sick. I've been unwell and disoriented feeling for the past few days. I think it's from a cold, but I'm also on different medication so I'm not sure. I got less than 1/4 of the way there and knew I couldn't make it. Thankfully cardless cash is a thing, so he can still get lunch at some farewell thing.

Knowing I couldn't make it, I instead turned around and went to the pathologist at the Florey Medical Centre. Luckily I can get my blood work taken anywhere and it's bulk billed and sent the same. Isn't Medicare great?

I actually think I had the best experience getting my blood drawn that I ever have! I warned her that my veins are difficult and she actually listened and used a butterfly needle. She couldn't feel a good one in my right arm, so she went to my left and got one first try! It wasn't even painful, just a bit of stinging. She said my blood was coming out slow, but she got the two needed vials without them dying out! Yay!

Hopefully these test results will let us know something more. I'm also going to the rheumatologist on Monday because they called me on Tuesday asking if I could come in. They couldn't say why because the receptionist didn't know because of confidentiality, but she did say that my rheumatologist said it wasn't urgent. I guess I'll find out on Monday.

We found the source of the inflammation! (and other things)

I called the rheumatologist on Thursday and they had a cancellation on Friday so I went the next afternoon. I wasn't very optimistic because I've had enough disappointment from lack of results that I'm starting to lower my expectations.

But I actually got results! The MRI showed that I have grade 2 sacroiliitis in my left sacroiliac joint. What that means is that there is inflammation between two of my pelvic bones on my left side. That doesn't really explain the pains in my hands and feet, though.

So we found the source of the inflammatory markers in my blood, but not quite the answer. She decided that we should change medications to try to figure out the joint pain in my hands and feet. So I have a new medication to take. She prescribed me some steroids for the next 20 days, starting with four pills a day and reducing by one pill every 5 days. She also told me to stop taking the anti-inflammatory because the steroids should take care of the pain and both medications can cause stomach pain and nausea.  I need to get a blood test in about a week and then we'll see what medication she wants me to keep taking. I might change again but the medicine she was thinking about has a lot of side effects so she wants to be sure.

I've changed my medicine but it's only been a couple days so it's hard to tell if the pain is less in my hands/feet yet. It seems like they're feeling better and my lower back is hurting more, but it's hard to tell at this point.

On a somewhat side note, before prescribing the steroids, she asked if I was thinking of having kids soon. Obviously some medications aren't suitable for that. I told her it would be at least a few years and asked her if whatever disease I have is likely to impact fertility. She said probably not as long as we start working now on figuring out what it is and controlling it.

Then I went home and read over the report of the MRI. They said that they incidentally discovered that I may have polycystic ovarian syndrome in my right ovary and that I should follow up clinically. My rheumatologist said nothing about it, so I'm glad that I got a copy of the report for my records. I'll follow up with my GP soon. I've also read up on it online and the symptoms seem to be consistent with my experiences. But I just saw the word 'infertility' everywhere and that made me worry. Rohan and I want to have kids someday and adoption is a long and difficult process and we're against doing in vitro.

But I'm glad that I have this time now to work on finding my diagnosis with the autoimmune disease and if I have polycystic ovarian syndrome before we try to have kids. I've had enough medical problems that I don't want the possibility of being infertile to sneak up on me in the future as well. I'm also glad for medicare so that I don't have to pay for all of these tests to find out what's wrong. So thank you tax payers of Australia!

MRI- back

A couple months ago, I was told that I needed an MRI of my back so I got put on the waiting list. They don't tell you how long the waiting list is, but I got a call on Wednesday asking if I'd be able to come in the next day. I was free, so I went down to Canberra Hospital yesterday. I made sure to leave plenty early because I had to transfer buses and it takes over an hour to get down there. Plus my appointment was at 1:30 so I wanted to make sure I had time to eat when I got there. I ended up spending almost the whole day there.

I've had plenty of MRIs before because of my brain tumour history. I've probably had close to a dozen. This one started off normally. I changed into scrubs and laid down at the MRI table. It felt much longer than the brain scans, but I figured that different parts of the body just take different amounts of time. (I had a full body one when they found my tumour but I was unconscious that time.) Most of the way through they gave me an injection of contrast, which again is normal.

But then I started to leave the MRI. I got dressed and on my way out of the hospital I started feeling sick. I felt disoriented and queasy. I made my way to the main lobby and sat there for a bit. Realizing it might be a while until I felt alright, I messaged Rohan. It wasn't letting up and I started feeling feverish as well. I asked if he could come get me because I was worried about trying to take the bus, especially with the transfers, in my current state. I figured being at a hospital was best in case something did happen.

He was able to leave work early (even though he was in a meeting. Isn't he the bestest?) and go get the car to pick me up. I think I finally got home about 2 hours after the MRI and I still felt sick all night. I'm not sure if it was because of the contrast or because the MRI felt really shaky and I have bad motion sickness. It was my first MRI outside of the University of Michigan hospitals, so it's hard to know what the difference was. I just know that it was not an experience I'd like to relive so I hope that the pain was at least worth it and shows something that will lead to my diagnosis.

Random pictures:

I got to wear booties with my scrubs, which was cool.

 I got a pretty big bruise on my right arm from where they injected the contrast. It's probably one of the biggest I've had when you consider they got the needle in the first try. It's also a lot more painful than many bruises I've had. Usually I like to poke them because I oddly like the feeling and I read online that it helps them heal faster. But I tried to poke this one or at least rub it and it's too painful! (I moved my hair tie up in the first picture to try and make look better. It was hard to focus my camera on the bruise.)

Also I took was taking my medicines this morning and thought I'd share a picture. This is part of why I feel like I'm an old lady. How many 26 year olds need to take this many pills every day?

Physiotherapy

Last time I went to the GP, he suggested that I went to a physio. I called the University of Canberra clinic, which he suggested. They said they didn't bulk bill and that I could go to the student led clinic for cheaper. I went there yesterday. Then I realised that my health insurance would have covered my physio and made it even cheaper, but oh well.

The physio asked some questions about my pain and stiffness as well as testing some of my joints on my hands and wrists. He couldn't come up with much. He said that usually when people come they have specific injuries but mine hasn't gotten to the point where I have specific pain. It's usually more of a discomfort than a hurt now that my medicine is kicking in again.

He ended up giving me a few exercises and ideas that can help with the pain. They're mostly variations of what I've already been doing. Things like stretching my hands under hot water. Hopefully they'll help. He wants me to go back in two weeks, but it'll be a different physio because the students change. I'm not sure if I'll end up going back again or not.

Rheumatology Ultrasound

Last time I was at the rheumatologist, she said that she was learning how to do ultrasounds and wanted me to come in and she'd check out my joints for free. After weeks of going back and forth with calls, I finally was able to get an appointment that actually worked, which was last night.

I was really hopeful that she'd find some inflammation or something. I want a diagnosis so badly. I should learn to not get my hopes up. Absolutely nothing abnormal showed up. She scanned both hands and my feet. Nothing. Everything looked normal. She didn't even bother taking any pictures because it just looked normal. She said that's a good thing, but it still means we're no where near figuring it out.

But I am experiencing pain. Now all it seems like we can do is treat the symptoms. I'll still have an MRI of my back when I finally make it up the wait list. My rheumatologist told me that I should just continue taking my meds and I'll go back either after my MRI or if my pain increases to a point where may need to change medicine.

I'm just at a bit of a low point now. Two of people's biggest stressors in life are money and health. I can't find a job or a diagnosis. It sucks! At least I have family and friends that love me and an amazing husband that keeps reminding me of the good things that I have going for me. But it's still really hard, especially for someone who has been battling depression for over 10 years. Sometimes all I can do is take life one day at a time.

Diabetes

As mentioned in the last post, I had my blood work taken at my GP when I went in for the breathing issue. That was a mess. I have awful veins that die out on a good day. It was this phlebotomist's first day. My vein died out and he had to try a couple more times. I ended up laying on the bed in there because of a combination of the needle and issues with breathing. I didn't get the results of those tests for about a week.

I got a letter in the mail saying that I needed to make an appointment with my GP to talk about my blood tests. Pretty standard and I figured they were normal because I get that letter all the time with the amount of blood tests I get.

I went in and it was not normal. He said that my blood sugar and cholesterol were high. He didn't want to diagnose me yet but he thought I might have diabetes and set up a chronic illness plan. (Which has to do with what we're given through Medicare) I had to go make appointments with a dietitian, an exercise therapist, and a diabetes educator.

I left the place and started bawling on my way home. I was completely freaking out which is weird because more than anything I want a diagnosis. I didn't even freak out when they found the brain tumour. But then again I sort of new in the back of my head (which is funny since that's where the tumour was!) and I was on a lot of painkillers when they told me.

Rohan was at work but luckily it was still early enough that my mom was awake. We skyped and she helped to calm me down. She told me that she wanted to see my results because she's always had high cholesterol and was interested in seeing mine. I didn't get the results but I could get them the next time I went to the doctor.

When Rohan came home he was a great help. He helped me to realise that this would be a good thing because it was a diagnosis and I've had a lot of symptoms that could all be linked back to diabetes. Sure I'd have to monitor what I ate, but the medication for diabetes has come such a long way. (As one of my few memories of my late grandma is her jabbing her stomach with insulin because she had type II diabetes.)

About a week later I had my first appointment with the dietitian. I had Rohan go with me since he makes all of our food. She gave us some information and goals for the next time we came. When I was leaving, I asked for a copy of all of my previous blood tests. I was looking at them on our way home and found something strange. It had my blood sugar level, but it said fasting next to it. I had eaten breakfast two hours before my blood test. I was most definitely not fasting. I looked up the range for healthy non-fasting (random) blood tests online. Mine was perfectly in that range!

I made an appointment with my GP for the next day and he told me that I was right. There must have been a clerical error when entering my blood work into the system. I didn't have diabetes after all. It was a mix of relief and frustration because now we were back to square one with no diagnosis.

He still wanted me to see the dietitian about my high cholesterol but she didn't seem worried about it when I went back. It's only a little high and I explained to her that my mom has always battled with high cholesterol despite every type of medicine, food/diet, or exercise she's done.

BUTT

Was that a surprising title? I'm not talking about my bottom. As previously mentioned, my family has something called TUT. When I was little I also had some hyperventilation problems and my sister decided to call them BUTT, short for breathing unable to thing. Yes, my family is weird.

But this isn't about when I was little. This is about two month ago. I started getting breathing problems. They were completely out of the blue. I could breathe through my nose. It wasn't clogged or anything like a cold. I just felt like I couldn't get enough air. I had to breathe through my mouth and I constantly felt out of breath. I wasn't doing any physical activity or overexerting myself. But it kept getting worse.

After about a week, I figured I needed to go to see someone. It was a Saturday so my doctor wasn't open. Instead I went to the walk in clinic. They don't have many tools since it's more for minor injuries and work sick notes. He couldn't see anything wrong with the little oxygen monitor on my finger or listening to my lungs. He said to follow up with my GP on Monday or go to the hospital if it gets worse.

I went to see my GP on Monday. He told me the same thing. Everything seemed fine but go to the hospital if it gets worse. Walking there and back was tough since it was hard to breathe just laying down let alone walking. He also had some blood work done but that'll be the next post!

Then I woke up the next morning and it was worse. Definitely worse. I talked it through with Rohan as he was getting ready for work and we decided that I definitely did need to go to the hospital this time. We were there for 7 hours. They did blood tests. They did chest scans. Everything was coming back normal but I was still having trouble breathing. It made no sense. Even my blood oxygen level was normal but it didn't seem right.

They discharged me saying that there was nothing else they could do or test. Somehow I did get better, although I can't remember how now. But a few weeks later we were in Perth and went into a cave. Then I realised that breathing while in the cave was exactly how it felt when I was having the breathing problems. But yet again I have no idea what it was!

Autoimmune

Early last year, I went in to talk to my GP about my insomnia and hiccoughs. She ordered some blood tests. They came back mostly normal except my auto-antibodies were high. She asked if I had a cold when they were taken. Surprisingly for me, I did not. She had me get them tested again in a few months to monitor them. They were still high but she said they were only slightly high so it was up to me if I wanted to see a rheumatologist or keep monitoring for a while longer. Since it could be an autoimmune disease, I wanted to get in to see a rheumatologist and figure it out sooner rather than later. That was about a year ago and it took several more months until I finally got an appointment.

The rheumatologist looked at my previous blood work and had her own blood tests done. I definitely had an autoimmune disease. I asked last time and my ANA level is over 100 and inflammatory markers over twice what they should be. Her blood tests ruled out the "normal" autoimmune disease like Coeliac and lupus. Even my thyroid was normal, which was a cause for concern since my grandma had Hashimoto's disease when she was around my age.

We weren't sure what it was. I told her that I was starting to get pain in my back. She hasn't been able to find anything wrong by looking at my body. She had me go to the hospital to get a bone scan. That came back perfectly normal. She did start me on some anti-inflammatory medication late last year to help with some of the back pain I was experiencing.

It was great and I noticed a difference right away. But it was supposed to be temporary. I went to my GP to get my prescription renewed and a warning came up that it can cause internal bleeding. My father-in-law, who is a doctor, also said that it's not a good medication to be on long term.

With that in mind, I went to see her again about a month or so ago. She agreed that it isn't a great medicine but if you need it then you should take it. With her permission, I tried to go off of it. She said it starts and stops working quickly so it should be fine. I stopped taking the medication on Saturday. Within a couple of days I was in crippling pain. I couldn't move my hands or back. All I could do was lay there. I couldn't clean, I couldn't play video games, I couldn't even hold a book. I went back on my medicine on Wednesday. I knew that I DEFINITELY needed to be on it. (and thanking God for modern medicine!)

My hands got back to normal in about a week and my back sooner, but I'm deteriorating again. It used to mostly be my back, but now it's my hands and feet. I take baths with epsom salt to relieve some of the pain. Hold a hot mug of tea is also great. I also discovered last week at cake decorating classes that fondant is also great for hand pain. I bought some putty/play-doh stuff tonight in hopes that it'll help.

Last time I was at the rheumatologist, she also told me that she wants to do an ultrasound of my hands. Scheduling that has been hard, but hopefully I can get an appointment soon and we can make progress on figuring out what's wrong with me. I am also on the waiting list for an MRI of my back at the hospital. That's the only downside to universal healthcare. I have no idea how long it'll be until my MRI. In the meantime, I'll just have to keep trying my best to manage the pain.

Hiccoughs

I decided to do my next few posts in themes to catch up what's been happening in the past couple years. It makes more sense than chronological because it goes back and forth. This post's theme is hiccoughs.

They first started a couple months after Rohan and I got married. So I guess that means it's been over a year and a half. But these aren't normal hiccoughs. They happen between 1-4 times per episode and at my worst I was having episodes multiple times an hour.

My doctor kept dismissing them and didn't really understand that it was actually a problem affecting my life. (Granted I never did hiccough in front of her or any medical professional except when I was at the hospital a couple months ago but that's another post.) She was just focusing on my other health issues that were also coming to light. I went in for my hiccoughs and insomnia but the blood work showed more to it than those.

It wasn't until I took matters into my own hands and wrote down when I was having hiccough episodes and how frequently that she actually listened to me. I think my worst was 30 episodes which was about 50 hiccoughs in one day! There was no rhyme or reason. I wrote down when I ate and slept and they had no correlation. They seemed completely random.

She realised that they might be something and I went to an imaging centre to get a CT scan and ultrasound of my chest. They found absolutely nothing wrong. Everything looked normal. That was toward the end of last year and now I'm at a dead end. I still have hiccoughs, although the severity seems to constantly change. Some days I get to the evening, hiccough, and realise that was my first one all day. A lot of my friends think it's hilarious. It drives me crazy! Rohan generally just ignores them but sometimes reminds me that I'm loved because he knows how depressed they make me.

I have tried to look up reasons but I can't find anything online. I have changed doctors and my new one said it could be a symptom of kidney disease, but we haven't looked into that yet. I've had more pressing issues that we're working on figuring out.

The Medical Anomaly

Maybe it's a story that needs to be told or maybe I'm just a narcissistic millennial writing another blog about my life. Either way I wanted to document my medical history and search for a diagnosis. I chose the name medical anomaly because that's what I've been calling myself lately. Every test seems to say I'm healthy but that's never the case. So I'm an anomaly because they can't find out what's wrong with me. But then I just found out that a medical anomaly is actually a definition for birth defects but oh well. I still think it describes me despite that definition.

But where to start with my medical problems? I had jaundice as a newborn, but that's not unusual. In fact, I think I was a pretty healthy child. I'd get the occasional cold but nothing too serious. When I was about 12, I started getting dizzy spells and had to keep candy with me at all times just in case. My doctor said I was hypoglycemic but I never actually had my blood tested. The dizzy spells haven't entirely ceased, but they happen a lot less frequently now.

My teenage years got more difficult. We moved when I was 15 and that's when my depression started. Again not too unusual. I also started to develop an anxiety problem that my sister and dad have had to deal with that we call TUT, short for throw up thing. But I'll get to that later when it's actually diagnosed. There's bigger problems between there.

My senior year of high school was awful for my health. I kept getting headaches that were increasingly worse. Painkillers didn't help. I slept almost all day as my only source of pain relief. I went to the doctor repeatedly and nothing. She told me it was "normal" teenage headaches and gave me neck exercises. Then I started noticing that I was having trouble balancing and walking straight. It's a good thing that I never had to do one of those drunk driving tests! But still nothing was diagnosed until one morning I woke up speaking nonsense. My dad rushing me to the hospital and I was diagnosed with a pilocytic astrocytoma. A brain tumour in my cerebellum. It was operated on the next day and you'd think that'd be the end, apart from check ups with my neurosurgeon.

Well my anxiety got worse in college. It escalated during my final years of high school from feeling nauseated to occasionally throwing up to throwing up every time I saw, thought about, or smelled food. During my sophomore year, I reached the peak of my anxiety. But we weren't sure what it was at first. But it was a major problem. I lost 10 lbs from my already underweight body in about a month. My doctor prescribed me a medicine that would speed my digestion until we got a diagnosis. Fast forward about a week and I started having muscle contractions and spasms in my leg and neck. Turns out I was allergic and had to go to the hospital to get an IV of antihistamines. A few weeks later we discovered it was anxiety and I started taking anti anxiety medication and slowly bringing food back into my life.

My next trip to the hospital, apart from follow up MRIs and neurosurgeon visits, was about four years later. I started getting headaches. Not like the ones for my brain tumour. These were different. The brain tumour headaches felt like normal headaches but really bad. These were in the back of my head and felt pulsing. My grandma later told me that she had experienced these types of headaches in the past and described the pain similar to that of the contractions during labour and childbirth. That seemed like it'd be pretty accurate although I've not had kids since they were similar to extreme menstrual cramps. Over the course of a few days, they got way worse. Painkillers didn't help and I was waking up in the middle of the night screaming. During one day, it got so bad that my mom came home from work and took me to the hospital. Tests were done. Nothing came back. I had my regular follow up MRI a couple months later and everything was clear again. But at least the headaches did stop and haven't come back.

I still have depression, anxiety, and a bit of insomnia but that brings us up to the last couple of years.