Last time I was at the rheumatologist, she said that she was learning how to do ultrasounds and wanted me to come in and she'd check out my joints for free. After weeks of going back and forth with calls, I finally was able to get an appointment that actually worked, which was last night.
I was really hopeful that she'd find some inflammation or something. I want a diagnosis so badly. I should learn to not get my hopes up. Absolutely nothing abnormal showed up. She scanned both hands and my feet. Nothing. Everything looked normal. She didn't even bother taking any pictures because it just looked normal. She said that's a good thing, but it still means we're no where near figuring it out.
But I am experiencing pain. Now all it seems like we can do is treat the symptoms. I'll still have an MRI of my back when I finally make it up the wait list. My rheumatologist told me that I should just continue taking my meds and I'll go back either after my MRI or if my pain increases to a point where may need to change medicine.
I'm just at a bit of a low point now. Two of people's biggest stressors in life are money and health. I can't find a job or a diagnosis. It sucks! At least I have family and friends that love me and an amazing husband that keeps reminding me of the good things that I have going for me. But it's still really hard, especially for someone who has been battling depression for over 10 years. Sometimes all I can do is take life one day at a time.
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